Fly Without A Net
I’d like to believe I adapt quickly to change, but that’s not entirely true. Visualizing possibilities without boundaries is challenging, especially when/if attached to a comfort zone i.e money, job, social network, etc.
When I feel things changing around me I adapt. When I feel its time to make change for myself it’s a little different. I begin to feel inertia building inside me with not outlet. It a sinking feeling. I want to flee rather than feel like I’m waiting for something to happen. I believe we have a choice to steady coast or keep upping the anty in life. Its a personal quest. In these times I have ways of creating opportunities for change that remain within safe guidelines of how to leap into the “unknown”:
- never leave a job without one in place.
- make sure health insurance is provided.
- salary for steady pay.
- growth opportunities within the company.
- consistent with current resume and educational background.
I think these are educated and pragmatic steps to take risks with minimal opportunity cost. This is what I have been conditioned to do. Like searching for schools: do research to find out where to go, pick ‘reaches’ and ‘safetys’, make sure grades meet the criteria, follow guidance counselor’s advice, apply, hope to get in, then go for it. It is the same in job hunting.
For me, the exciting part is the process of envisioning what I want. It is easier to dream than do. When I decide to act, I then plan again- yet again. In other words, my change is masked with a face lift. I’m remain in my comfort zone.
It is when I realize my plan is not 100% fail- proof that the real ride begins. It’s never as bad or scary as I planned for. I survive. I am not on the street… I think it’s safe to say that I’m doing a little more than just getting by. It always works out when I listen to my spirit and believe in the powers that be.
I have been reading the Law of Attraction and applying the exercises to my daily thoughts. My mantra from the book is, “it is not our job job to figure out the ‘how’ of things. We simply have to be in a frequency of receiving and clearly seeing what we want.” I read this in The Secret as well and I still find itto be very true. What a wonderful way to lessen the burden of controlling fate! It is truely exhausting and futile.
There is a balance, of course; do the work and the results will manifest in their own time. Surrendering control is the hardest part. It feels like giving up pride.
I’m in Mexico now- tomorrow will be 3 weeks exactly. When I review my daily notes of the first day here until now I am amazed at the progress and unpredictability of this great adventure abroad. I planned so much before I left to “make sure” I had all of my bases covered.
In the back of my mind I replayed old tapes of my past and other people’s fear:
- How will you survive there without you’re job now?
- Don´t move for love, that´s ridiculous
- It’s very dangerous.
- Don’t get killed or kidnapped.
- Don’t quit all that you have worked so hard for
- you´re too much to deal with (people won´t like me)
In the end I had to acknowledge that it is time to take ownership of MY LIFE and show up for myself. I am a walking corporation. That is the gift of being creative- I will always provide for myself through my wellness background and art. The rest is left up to the universe to provide. It has in abundance. Today is proof.
Now don’t get me wrong, my first paycheck in pesos freaked me out. Rather than operate from a place of fear and put up those road blocks like believeing all checks going forward will be that meniscual I chose to KNOW that this is the beginning and give thanks. The bright side is I’m on payroll :) ha.
In times of minor discomfort i.e resigning from my Pilates Director position, leaving my beautiful abode, boarding the plane, to receiving that first paycheck) I recite a very simple mantra, “I am the co-creator of my world. Say Yes (to myself & possibilities) and surrender with Grace and Ease.”
SO JUMP!! The universe will catch you…
Notes
